It was a bitter cold Colorado day, one of those days where you want to bundle up inside and watch the winter weather from behind thick glass. There was only one problem: I had committed myself to a run with my running buddy. Reluctantly I put on several layers of warm clothing and drove to the parking lot where we met. Our cars were the only ones there, everybody else wisely stayed away from the cold. But once we started running and I was warming up, I thought “I am so happy that I went outside!” What started out as a reluctant commitment turned into an outdoor activity that I thoroughly enjoyed. I never would gone outdoors without a partner to whom I was accountable.
Having an accountability partner can be valuable for making sure that we follow through on what we have set out to do. Sometimes we waver from what we have set out to because we are distracted, because we are sidetracked by the busyness of day, or because we simply don’t feel like engaging in what we have set out to do. (After all, who likes to run through freezing Colorado weather?) Moreover, an accountability partner can be a sounding board or companion, they can make the road feel less lonely.
An accountability partner can be beneficial for different types of activities. Perhaps you have engaged in a big project—such as writing a book—and you need to stay on track in the face of busyness or a tendency to procrastinate. Or you might decide that you will start something that scares you, such as making a career-change or starting dancing lessons. When I decided to start my coaching and teaching practice, my brother and a dear friend acted as accountability partners by giving me feedback on my plans and my website as they evolved, and by regularly asking how I was progressing.
There are different ways of creating accountability. What I sometimes do when I have decided to take on a new project is that I tell several people about my plan. Even though they may not know it, they hold me accountable by asking how my plan is taking shape. These questions from friends, family, or colleagues, helps me stay the course and follow through.
Margaret Palmer struggled combining a scientific career with the care for her family and being a spokesperson for the environment. To make wise choices in setting her priorities she started a no-club. The negative-sounding name of this club belies the positive character of its purpose. In our busy lives there are occasions where we need to decide whether to say “yes” or “no” to a new activity or commitment. As described in my newsletter Yes = No, saying “yes” too often can lead to overwhelm. Before making a commitment by saying “yes” to a new activity, members of the no-club discuss their choice and question each other about the degree to which a new activity supports the goals of the person making the choice. In this way, members of the no-club hold each other accountable for making wise decisions in making commitments.
What are areas in your life where you could benefit from being held accountable? Perhaps you have stalled on a big project, you might wish to take on a hobby, skill, or activity but are not following through, or you might not take the steps to realize a desired change in your life. If that is the case, you could consider finding an accountability partner. A trusted friend, colleague, or family member who speaks the truth can be a great help to keep us on track. They might even be the cheerleader that you need!