My recent move from Colorado to Oregon involved getting a new driver license and new license plates. The photo shows my car with the old Colorado license plates and the new Oregon plates. On the one hand it was exciting to mount the new license plates, but taking off the old plates came with a pang of pain. The Colorado license plates were firefighter license plates, which I carried because I was a firefighter for 14 years. This was a big part of my identity, and taking off the Colorado license plates felt like letting go of a part of my past that was dear to me.
License plates are, of course, not very important. But the change of license plates symbolizes what happens when we go through life changes that we have chosen. Embracing the new involves releasing the old.
Here is an example of a life change I went through. About 15 years ago I became aware that with my technical research I probably did not improve the lives of many people. That was a sobering insight. But it was clear to me that through my teaching and mentoring of students I did have a positive impact on many young people. As a result of this insight, I changed the focus of my work from technical research to teaching and mentoring. This opened a new chapter in my career and ultimately led me to start a practice where I do life coaching and career coaching, and I offer classes and workshops.
But this change in my career also involved a loss. I was amazed how quickly fellow researchers became aware of the change in my focus and paid less attention to my work. Colleagues noticed that I stopped showing up at conferences that I previously had attended, and it probably was clear from the way I talked about research that the passion for my research had diminished. Life is a boomerang, and the result of the reduction of my interest in research led to a diminished interest of colleagues in my work.
In hindsight this is not amazing, when you open a new chapter in your life another chapter likely will close. A change in priorities causes us to focus on other things, and what we previously valued is likely to become less important to us. In addition, since we cannot do everything, an expansion of one part of our life is usually accompanied by a reduction of another part of our life. Let’s not fool ourselves by thinking think we can change and not lose something. That loss should not keep us from changing, but it is good to be realistic. On the other hand, the loss brought about by a change in our life can also be a liberation!
Nobody says you must embrace change, but if you feel the urge to change, how do you feel about making that change? What do you think you will gain by changing, and what do you think you will lose? Change involves risk-taking. Are you willing to take that risk and make changes in your life? Contact me if you would like help navigating change!