This is what my wife said to me as we were reading the newspaper in the morning. What she wanted me to pay attention to was an article in the New York Times that announced that Bob Weir had died. Bob Weir was the guitarist of the Grateful Dead. To be honest, I don’t particularly like the music of the Grateful Dead, but my running buddy David loves the Grateful Dead. Whenever he picks me up to go for a run he plays music from the Grateful Dead in his car. Since he knows that I am not a big fan, he switches off the music when I enter his car.
Normally I would not pay attention to an article about an artist that I don’t know who has passed; I would consider it to be unimportant to me. But my wife pointed out that this article WAS important to me because it was important to a close friend. Our sense of importance can be self-centered and be guided by our preferences and biases. But something being important for somebody else can make it important for us too.
When I mentioned to David that I read about Bob Weir’s passing, David told me stories about the numerous concerts of the Grateful Dead he had attended over a many decades along with many colorful anecdotes, I learned what this music means to a close friend! And then I looked into the life of Bob Weir. He was a mainstay of the Grateful Dead, and even at an advanced age would give 40-50 concerts per year, what energy! But I also learned that Bob Weir wrote a children’s book Panther Dream: A Story of the African Rainforest and was active for the betterment of the life of farm animals.
What are persons, topics, or events that may not be particularly important to you, but that are important for somebody who is close to you? Are you willing to pay attention on account of the importance these issues have for somebody else? What happens when you do this and open a conversation about such a topic with the person who is passionate about that topic? A new world might open up and your connection to that person might deepen. And you don’t need to become a Dead head in the process.