I am lucky man in many ways. One of them is that I received a great education with amazing teachers. After completing a 5-year program in theoretical physics at Utrecht University, I received a master’s degree in fluid dynamics at Princeton University, and then I completed a PhD in seismology at Utrecht University. Along the way I worked with marvelous advisors, and I took classes from 3 Nobel prize winners. In the process I learned many analytical skills, notably in physics and mathematics.
The classes that I took and my research focused on physics and mathematics, and I did not receive any training in emotional and intuitive skills, even though these are important in science and engineering too. But more importantly, in my education I was not taught basic human skills that are important for everybody. I did not learn how to manage my time, which resulted in unnecessary stress and chaos in my life. I did not learn how to manage my emotions, with the result that my emotions sometimes took me for a ride that I did not want to be on. I did not learn mental hygiene, with the result that disagreement or worries sometimes grew out of proportion. I did not learn how to step back and assess my priorities, with the result that other people or circumstances would set my priorities. I did not learn self-care, which resulted in periods in my life with debilitating backpain and irritability due to a chronic lack of sleep.
In addition, nobody taught me the professional skills that are needed for a career. I did not learn how to have difficult conversations, with the result that I avoided difficult conversations and difficult situations started festering. I did not learn how to negotiate, with the result that I did not stand up adequately for my interests, or for the interests of co-workers or family. I was not trained in leadership, which the result that in a role of Department Head and Dean I was learning and the job and made mistakes that could have been avoided. I did not learn how to effectively work with others, and as a result I did not understand—as a restless person—that other people and decision-making processes have a timescale that may be longer than my own. This is a sobering overview for somebody with an otherwise successful career.
Why is it important to learn these skills? General job skills are necessary for being effective in a modern career. Knowing how to manage our time, our emotions, our conversations, and to take care of ourselves and others, is important to deal with the challenges that we encounter in our personal and professional life. Learning physics and mathematics alone did not prepare me for the general career skills and the emotional skills that I needed to have a harmonious life.
In my coaching I regularly work with scientists and engineers or other modern-day professionals. These people are brilliant and do amazing things! But they may be overwhelmed by the combination of work and personal life, they may question the purpose of their hard work—“is this all there is?”, they may face a difficult choice, they may show patterns of behavior—such as procrastination—that hold them back, or they may encounter a major challenge in their career or personal life. At such moments technical and analytical skills may not be enough to deal with these challenges.
In my career coaching I support professionals in managing the challenges and dilemmas they encounter in their busy life. I do this in one-on-one sessions where we discuss their situation, and how they can prepare themselves to develop the mindset and skills to deal with their challenge. As a coach, my job is not to advise; instead, I empower clients to grow so they can make the decisions and develop the strategies that are right for them. My sessions are remote through a video link, and I work with clients all over the world.
In addition to coaching individual clients, I offer classes and workshops on topics that include managing activities for managing time, managing emotions, managing conversations, negotiation, and effective oral communication. I have offered these classes and workshops to universities and private companies.
Testimonials for my coaching and teaching can be found at the bottom of my welcome page. If you have questions, or if you wonder if my work fits your needs, you can set up an appointment for a free consultation. I am here to help!