A while ago I was at a scientific conference. Research was presented on different topics, most of which were detailed and specialistic. Many presentations aimed at impressing the audience. Thousands of clever people were walking around clutching their conference bag and they were desperate to network and make connections. Young people in their twenties were dressed as if they were in their fifties so that they could impress potential employers. I was watching all this and did not have a good time.
To be honest, I was skeptical and judgmental. I had been around for a few decades in my field of research, and I thought how few new ideas were being presented and how the progress that was reported was incremental. I noticed how people were posturing in the sense that they were working hard to impress others with their intellect and ingenuity. As you probably notice from the way I describe the conference, I was in a judgmental mood. I became aware that the cause of this mood was not the conference; it was my judgmental attitude. And I realized that I had to do something if I wanted to avoid spending three more days at the meeting in a skeptical mindset.
Since I did not know what to do, I went to a quiet spot in the conference building and just meditated. In my meditation the words “just be interested” came to me. That was clear guidance that helped me change my attitude. With the mindset and the intention of being interested I joined the melee of the conference again. I went to presentations and asked questions. I marveled at the ingenuity and the drive of my fellow researchers. In the hallways I had many interesting and meaningful conversations with colleagues where I got to know them better. The key ingredient in these conversations was an interest in my colleagues. I asked them professional and personal questions that I never asked them before. As a result, I got to know my colleagues in different ways and at greater depth than I had before. But perhaps more importantly, because I did have a genuine interest, my colleagues enjoyed the conversations and were keen to share and they were open to me. I once again experienced that life is a boomerang; when I was interested in others, they were also interested in me.
Where can you change your attitude just by being interested? You might have an interest in other people, in their work, in their stories, in nature, or in art. The world has great depth, but we can only perceive that depth and enjoy it when we are interested to dive in. Skepticism and judgement are killers of interest because these attitudes exclude the openness that is needed to be truly interested. Just be interested with an open mind and see what happens!