I am fortunate to be able to run on a trail through the wilderness behind my house. The trail is deserted, I rarely meet another person. After running this trail many times, I noticed the scene shown on the photo just off the trail. Heart-shaped rocks are wedged between the tree trunks. A heart is attached to the tree, and blocks on white quartz are laid out at the base of the tree. It clearly is a monument to remember a loved one. I don’t know who this is, and whether the person is alive or not.
I ran by this place many times without feeling touched by the scene. But one day as I passed the monument it dawned on that even though I know nothing about the person for whom this monument is created, I know one thing: this person once was somebody’s child. I don’t know if this person as a child was loved by their parent or not, who knows? But the parent-child connection is a symbol of a deep sense of belonging (even though that symbolism is not always realized). This insight profoundly changed my perspective. Now every time I run the trail I search for a piece of white quartz that I add to the monument. And as I stop to lay down my gift of quartz, I silently say “I don’t know who you are, but you are loved, you are somebody’s child.” The phrase “you are somebody’s child” somehow unlocks empathy and compassion. You could try this in several situations.
When you encounter somebody who you might ignore because they don’t interest you or because of a judgment you may carry, take a deep breath and silently say “you are somebody’s child.” Wouldn’t that make you more inclusive?
When you notice you shut down emotionally because you are confronted with tears, anger, or other strong emotions, take a deep breath and silently say “you are somebody’s child.” Wouldn’t that allow you to respond more meaningfully?
When you are about to ignore the needs of somebody else, take a deep breath and silently say “you are somebody’s child.” Wouldn’t that make you more giving?
When somebody pushes your buttons and provokes a negative reaction, take a deep breath and say “you are somebody’s child.” Wouldn’t that defuse a potentially difficult situation?
Words matter, just give it a try and see what happens!