Stacking firewood by placing logs on their side allows logs to dry because the water does not infiltrate along cut ends. The image shows the woodpile of one of my neighbors. Since I love stacking and splitting firewood, I was intrigued by her woodpile and asked why she stacked it this way. Her answer was clear, “I like the way it looks.” My neighbor was going against the grain by stacking the wood in a way that appealed most to her.
Do you dare to go against the grain? Do you sometimes do things in an unusual way just because you just want to do things differently? This may involve abandoning common sense, tradition, or expectations of others. Going against the grain is not the same as being a contrarian or being antagonistic; it means marching to your own drum.
Stated differently, do you follow internal or external values? Values are what we deem to be important. External values are values that are instilled in us by society, our upbringing, and the expectations of those around us. Internal values are ideals or principles that arise from within, they are based on an inner compass that leads our way. When we follow internal values we follow our heart, when we follow external values, we follow expectations.
When we exclusively follow external values, we may not fully express ourselves, our actions may not be guided by what we deem to be important and fulfilling, and we may not follow our calling or our dreams. Tim Kasser and Richard Ryan investigated the happiness of a large group of Americans. They found that those who buy in to the American Dream—an external value—are on average less happy than those who follow internal values to run their life.
On the other hand, listening to internal values only may make us egotistical if those values do not include the needs and wants of others. To responsibly live by internal values, they need to be anchored in a sense of interdependence, an awareness that we are not alone and that we are part of a network.
So to whose drum are you marching? Do you listen to your dreams and ambitions, and do you follow them? Do you know what your calling is, and how do you respond to that calling? Do you express in your life what is important to you? Do you sometimes take actions that may go against expectation form others, but you do it anyhow because you really want to? And do you know who you are serving by marching to your own drum? My neighbor has this figured out, she went against the grain by building her woodpile in just the way she wanted it. Do you dare to go against the grain as well?