The word grace refers to elegance that seems effortless, as in the image of the swan. Grace also points to a gift or talent that was not requested; she was graced with a kind heart. We normally don’t talk much about grace, but let’s ask the question how does grace show up in your life?
What are the things that you do with a natural flow or elegance? You might express grace through ballet or by creating beauty, but grace can be expressed in many different ways. Perhaps people feel at ease with you, perhaps acts of kindness come easily to you, perhaps you inspire others by your presence, you may know how to iron out difficult situations in a natural way, or perhaps you make others feel heard and seen? There are many ways in which we can be grace-full. (Note that some words become clearer when we hyphenate them, as in gentle-man.) Here are some questions to reflect on. In what aspects of your life does grace come forth? If you have a hard time answering this, you can ask yourself the following question. Are there ways in which you bring grace that you may not be aware of? And should you have difficulty identifying the grace that you bring, you can ask yourself the question, how can I nurture and grow qualities that I could express with ease and grace?
We can also turn the question of expressing grace around and ask what are situations where we don’t express grace? For example, at times I am absent-minded or stressed and express myself ungracefully by reacting in an unreceptive, curt, or irritated way. Sometimes I don’t say or do the things that would be right thing to say or do, because I am not paying attention. This is not because I want to react in this way, instead it happens when I am preoccupied and forget to bring grace into my interactions. That probably does not happen to the readers of this newsletter, but should this sound familiar, you can pose yourself the following questions. What are situations or trigger points where you react in ungraceful ways? How can you recognize that you are about to express yourself ungracefully? What can you do to pause and reset in such moments so that you respond with ease and grace?
And lastly, let’s not forget that grace also refers to gifts or talents that we receive, even though we never may have asked for them or we feel we don’t deserve them. What are the gifts that you are graced with? Perhaps it is an artistic talent (e.g. painting or music), something you are skilled at (carpentry, soccer, mathematics), it might be a character trait (to speak with St. Paul, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, or patience), or an emotional quality (a strong inner compass, reading the emotional mood of others). Do you know what your gifts are? Do you use them?
We all have our talents, gifts, and opportunities to express grace. What can you do today to use these opportunities and move through the day with the grace of a swan? Even the Ugly Duckling learned how to do that!